People are often surprised to learn that I, Brian Phillips, like to spend time with celebrities in glamorous situations and the environment. “But Brian,” they exclaims, widely opened with their eyes to Solomin Serious writer! How can you spend your time on all this garbage? “
My answer is always the same. “Look,” I say with a little smile, “if Thomas Mann could write Dr. Faust In Pacific Palisades, without even receiving Suntan, there is no reason why I cannot … Something something.“I kind of mumbled the last part in my drink. This is the trick that I took from Kirsten Dunst.
Explanatory example: last night I went to show a new Secret materials The series in London, an exclusive Hollywood hotel. Glen Morgan was there. Glen Morgan is a little guy whom I like to call the producer Secret materialsThe television series, which was broadcast on Fox between 1993 and 2002, with the participation of David Duchni and Gillian Anderson in the lead roles. ” In fact, he is not at all small. Not huge, but he has some mass on it. If I had to use one word to describe the physical scale of Glen Morgan, that would be “average”. There are many different sizes of people in the world, and this guy is one of the normal ones.
After that there were cocktails.
Say that you will be about Hollywood, but it was an exciting experience. My Serious brain He was fully involved in the study of such things as the meaning of America, as well as what is happening with Malder and Scully these days. In the most important and deep sense, I know both now. I would like to share this knowledge with you. However, I cannot. From the spoilers. Since George R.R. Martin gave me confidence that Tyrion kills Daenerys at the end of the last book, I was horrified by the accidental disclosure of a major spoiler on the Internet. In addition, PR -Flack, who greeted me in the screening room, explained that she was “damn cut [me]“If I am breathing[d] A few words about it, you [extremely handsome man].
As I said, I love to hang out with celebrities.
What am I Maybe Tell you what Not to happen in the new Secret materials. So many things do not happen! And each new one is not more shocked than the previous one. Without further words, here is the breakdown of the most exciting Secret materials The plot events that will not and will never exist.
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Rommel Demano/Wiremage David Dukhny and Gillian Anderson in New York in October 2013.
1 Mulder does not ask for another cipirin, and then says: “Heh. I like this word. Cipirin.
2 The smoking man of cigarettes never sits in bed, clicking: “Jesus, Velazquez when it is No Time to remove disposal? »An alien lying next to him.
3 Scully absolutely does not order some trays on the Internet.
4 At the end of the Dark Lane, where the light from a lonely street lamp approaches along the sidewalk with the rain, Scully does not find a pop -up Takeuria, where this guy Jonathan does Churros.
5 I could tell you that this series explores a policy of production of mulch, but I would lie because it is another thing that does not happen.
6 Mulder does not look at the window in the U.S. Capitol building and whispers: “Monsters, yes. I don't think I understand.
7 Do you know who still does not do this? Any.
8 Mulder simply never throws a trip to Africa on the grounds that “hippot feel Like a X-file. “
9 In any case, he will not find out that the assistant director of the FBI Walter Skinner joins Kickstarter to receive funding for his “elegantly connected romanization” Infocom The leather goddess Fobos.
10 The word “Copyleft” is not very much scattered.
11 Jonathan, who does not make Churros, does not say Scully that “this is about cinnamon,” and then chokes, “I said too much”, and then he gets a shock in the head of a sniper from Venus.
12 Mulder and Scully did not stumble upon a mysterious building with low white in the middle of the cinnamon field, where workers with an empty face in the white costumes of Habmat, it seems that they process cinnamon, but it seems that they do something else with a field
13 The deep throat does not return from the dead and shouts: “Surprise, friends! This is me, a deep throat! “
14 There is never a single day, in the entire schedule of the new series, when the conspiracy participants openly admit that they will become a shitty team for Polo.
15 Maybe you read speculations on online forums that the Scully apartment seems a little light on trays. I don't know what to tell you; She does not buy new ones.
16 The camera does not slowly increase the mutant feeding cancer, Leonard Betts, since he takes a long, luxurious pouring of the friendly cone of friendly, and then continues to increase, closer and closer, all the way into his crazy, dead eyes, as he mutters: “This The taste is rude. “
17 “This is true: I said that ice cream tastes compared to cancer,” Betts adds. “Rest your mouth WhatTwitter ice cream. “
18 Mulder does not throw football through the swing of tires in an extremely slow motion, while a gravel, carefree male voice pierces its mechanics.
19 I do not want to relate to how Java Scully classes go, but just say that it does not accept.
20 Daughter Scully Emily died in the 5th season. In the new series, Emily does not go to graduation, it does not at all coincide with two dates, and its two dates are not excited by gentlemen twins depicted by Kelsi Grammer.
21 “UFO screw,” the cigarette man does not speak in a high -speed boat. Then he Really He does not sweep his fingers through his hair and does not cry: “I have a leonin curls!”
22 Scully does not write to his girlfriend Ellison that the smoking man of cigarettes “a kind of damn Tbqh”.
23 Okay, let's talk about Vaping. I should not, but I know that you have questions. I am not saying that Smezznor, an alien overlord of the Milky Way created when Samantha Mulder's genes were turned into Alex Critsek, not wipe. I I am To say that it is conducted on creep, obsessively wiping the Galaxy-Korol is a stupid idea, and that it does not exist.
24 The cinnamon air conditioning path does not lead Mulder and Scully to the bombarded mosque in Tangier, where Mulder does not break away from the investigation, so that the rap all verses to Big Shonu are loudly. ”Dance ($ $).
25 So many fans of the show are wondering what happened to your beloved Secret materials Peggy Little shell, long -suffering secretary of the skinner. I'm kidding. In fact, no one wonders, because there is no such character.
26 “Have you seen this, Mulder?” Scully does not whisper, pressing playback on the last video on YouTube about a funny octopus. “This octopus is frightening to me.”
27 If Scully dates from Mappet – I say If Here – and If This Mappet is a doctor’s teeth, their third date is not for the Aikido International Championship.
28 Alfred Hitchcock does not direct episodes (Alfred Hitchcock is dead).
29 Nobody, including Li Boggs, a serial killer who terrorized Scully in the classic episode “behind the sea”, gives Scully some trays as a gift.
30 Malder's book club does not read Time traveler wife “Or, if so, Mulder does not finish the novel.”
31 Do you know that Grantland has interns? We do and they do a fantastic work. Hello guys! Just not enough fantasy for anyone to appear in Secret materialsField
32 In the same way, your own mother does not portray the former special agent of the FBI Dana, the co -author of the series. If only your mother is not Gillian Anderson … In this case, do not give something, but you power I want to tune in to the premiere.
33. “Uber, but for extraterrestrial invasions,” Mulder does not write on Twitter, biting his own fist in embarrassment.
34 Literally zero plots include the desire to find a new tourist bus for Stephen Mulkmus and JickField
35 The next exchange does not happen at all:
Mulder: Here we are in Las -Vegas, Scully.
Scully: Hahaha seems to look like a vancuver?
Mulder: No, Scully, this is Las Vegas, Nevada, where we were to solve the X-file.
Scully: I just say that in Las -Vegas should be, like high pines?
Mulder: Scully!
Scully: I just don't usually think about “muffled forest greatness” when I think about Vegas.
Mulder: Why are you always destroying this, Scully.
36 Mulder never represents “Fox Malder, a declarative interpreter of creatures and their ways.”
37 Seventeen minutes of the third episode of the new series are not devoted to the static footage for the trash in Target.
38 A well -groomed person does not represent his two new friends of the conspiracy, orders expensive basketball sneakers on Ebay Man and Josh, who are still in the Normar.
39 No one misses 1,100 miles in freezing water to hit the whale. This is not what this show is about.
40 The next exchange also does not happen:
Scully: Well, Mulder, Sematics do not need to see that the main stress in the progressive online discourse is that his commitment to the holiness of an individual personality implies a constantly growing stress for all the methods that can be holiness … The problem is in The fact that we live at a moment when an increased sense of the meaning of a person threatens to create an increased sense of significant weakness of a person accordingly.
Mulder: I hate disagreeing with you, Scully, but the problem is magic tarantulas.
41 Mulder does not complete the long reading of his memoirs, saying: “And this, my friends, I first entered the Remodelista.”
42 Mulder and Scully do not interrupt sex to get to five years after one of them quit a joke “uh-oh, now the truth is there.”
43 Mulder and Scully do not spend three hours, understanding whether Balerion Black Dread is an excellent name for the dragon, a super-cliche for a dragon or strange.
44 The reanimated corpse of a deep throat does not say: “Friends, I have a thirst for one thing and only one thing, and this thing I cry.”
45 In Antarctica, where they finally discovered a secret military installation, where they collect cinnamon, a rafted alien, a brorice that cannot be processed for more than a few seconds, without causing the death of not engaging or “pre-transcendental” people-Mulder and Scully with despair They do not realize that the world is doomed, because they have no way to transfer the cinnamon to the laboratory where it can be destroyed, because Scully was going to pick up several new trays, but, like someone, it seems that someone forgot.
46 Mulder does not pass and does not win the role of Mrs. Ferfax in the adaptation of the Public Theater Jane AirField
47 “It was a pulsating night on Phobos, and, damn it, in the Star Light, this is how Walter Skinner’s novel“ Kikstarter ”does not begin at all.
48 Samantha Mulder does not return from a longer trip to the store and will say: “Wait, you thought I was What“
49 “I am changing the name to region 52,” the first elder refuses to proclaim, adding: “It's time to come to this alien action on the step.”
50 The conspiracy does not begin to make sense.
